I'm no Forrest Gump

I think about Forrest Gump every time I run. Is that weird?

I think, If Forrest can run across the country without stopping, surely I can run 5 miles.

I know it’s a movie. Quit judging me. It helps me get through.

Sometimes.

Today, nothing really helped. I had a terrible run today, and I’m kind of mad at myself. Sure, I hadn’t run in 11 days (I didn’t even take that much time off when I went to Mexico!), but I really thought I’d at least do 3.1. (I have a 5k with the running class that I teach coming up on Saturday, and I need to be ready. I mean, if teacher can’t do it, they surely won’t even try!)

I quit running after 2. TWO! Come on, Lauren! I know I could have done more, but frankly I wasn’t in the mood to try. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I just haven’t felt like running (hence the 11-day hiatus). Oh, and I’m great with the excuses: “I’ve got cupcakes to make” (a really popular one), “I just want to hang out with my son” (NOT an excuse- a truth- but I think he’d forgive me for taking 45 minutes out to go run), and the ever-so-popular, “I’ve got too much TiVO to catch up on.” I’m pathetic.

The other day I was even wondering if I really wanted to do this whole “half-marathon” thing. I do, I really do, but the doubt was creeping up, telling me I couldn’t do it and that I’d fail. That people were doubting me and that maybe they were right. After the pitiful run I had today, it’s hard to push those thoughts out of my head.

But I will. I am doing this (sorry, doubters). I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think a lot (most?) runners have thoughts like that at some point in their running “career.” At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

What I really need to do is learn to push myself. I can have a great 4 or 5 or even 6.2 miles with people. Running by myself isn’t as easy, though. That’s what I need to work on, more than my endurance, more than my form. I know I can run the distance. I just need to learn how to do it on my own.

Anyone else struggle with that? Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller? Bueller?

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2 Responses to I'm no Forrest Gump

  1. Tiffany says:

    Oh, ME, ME, I struggle with this! Sorry, I’m kind of late in replying to this post. And honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where I really don’t run anymore, but I do have bad knees, I swear! I do workouts by Zuzka on http://www.youtube.com/user/ZuzkaLight at home and only occasionally go out on a jog, but I never really do more than 3 miles.

    Anyway, you are not alone, running was never “easy” for me, like it is for most “runners”. Every single time I had to force myself to actually do the run. I usually had been dreading it all week or all day or whatever. In the end I made myself do it by sheer will alone. I would say “I’m not gonna stop now, I’m already here and dressed and sweating, might as well finish and prove to myself that I can do it!” It never really matters to me how fast/slow I’m going, as long as I can say that I keep going. I try to never walk, I just slow down to a snail’s pace and I feel better about myself. But I never did any 1/2 marathon training longer than 5 miles by myself, I always had to do it with a friend, even if we couldn’t talk most of the time. Just having someone else beside me that was in the same pain as I was in was gratifying. Misery loves company! Even with a killer playlist, I just can’t seem to do more than 5 all by my lonesome.

    So, don’t beat yourself up, we all have bad running days or bad baking days or just bad days, you are not alone! At least you can admit it and work on fixing it.

    I’m lovin your blog by the way! Can’t wait till I get back to the States and can use my kitchen aid mixer and have access to crazy ingredients like a box cake mix, I mean, seriously, England hasn’t discovered the box cake mix yet? Keep a goin Lauren, you can do it!

    • Lauren says:

      Thanks, Tiffany! You nailed it; that’s exactly how I am, too. I’m pretty sure I could speed-walk faster than I run some days.

      Thanks for reading! I, too, can’t wait until you can try some of these recipes. They’re awesome, really. Um, no cake mix?! What’s wrong with that country?! (Maybe it’s because all the food sucks over there? At least from what I experienced.)

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