I feel great and frustrated at the same time.
I feel great because I’ve been waking up at 5:15 most every day (except one or two) to run. I like the way I feel when I run in the morning, and I feel like it sets me up to make smarter decisions throughout the day.
I feel great because I’ve been making smarter food choices- not always but mostly. I’ve been living by the 80/20 rule: Eat good things 80% of the time and the other 20% can be not-as-smart choices. (You have to allow yourself some cheats, or you’ll go crazy. Or at least I will.)
I feel frustrated because the weight isn’t coming off as quickly as I’d like. My clothes still aren’t fitting me like I’d like for them to (other people may not notice at all, but I feel it and it bugs me) and I’m sick of the spare tire I seem to have accumulated.
I’m frustrated because I’m in my 30s now which means I’m old and I have an old person’s metabolism. I do not like this one bit.
But also, I feel proud. I’m proud of myself for waking up so early, considering I hate mornings and always thought those people who woke up early to run were nuts. (Incidentally, I also always thought people who ran marathons were nuts but here I am…)
I’m proud of myself for doing something to improve myself and my body. There are a lot of people out there who’d rather complain about being fat than actually do something about it (I used to be one of them. Not that I was ever “fat,” just bigger than I’m comfortable with).
And I’m proud of myself for actually following through with a New Year’s Resolution, for once. My 2012 NYR was to run a half marathon, and here I am, gearing up for it- and not waiting until the last minute, like I usually would!
So whenever I start to get frustrated that I’m not running as easily as I used to or that I’m a little “jigglier” than I’d like, I have to remind myself of how proud I am of ME.
I started a different training program, and I think it’s going to help. My “trainer” Jessica sent it to me. I’m not going to do the really long runs until it’s actually 12 weeks from the marathon, so for now I’m going to do week 1 over and over to get my body ready. I already like it better than my old program.
Maybe it’ll help me get into shape sooner. And maybe I won’t be so frustrated.